One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
