sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
