she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
two words: eviction party
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
