I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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