if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
