The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize