Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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