He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
