i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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