Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Randomize
