How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize