PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
