I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
