dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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