Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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