I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
