Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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