I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
