Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
