im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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