told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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