So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
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There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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