Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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