Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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