toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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