Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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