i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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