This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
not ubering you a puppy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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