It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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