it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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