Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
