so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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