so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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