farters have to be the big spoon...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
