so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize