you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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