We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
