Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
