I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
