Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize