I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
