i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
