I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
