I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
