Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
