We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
