Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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