y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
