You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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