just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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