I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
