This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
