okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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