I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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